Funny Shizzzzzz!!!!!

Hello mofos!!!! Damn its been a looong time! Well mainly cuz I got a damn job since the last post and i been busy makin moneyz! But I just wanted to share with you guys a few videos that I thought were HEE-larious!!! <333 LaKeia


P vs. McDonalds- Okay so Pharrell wants some Mickey'Ds before he flies outta Paris but its not open so he busts into a broadway like song to try to get them to open. Its McDonalds: The Musical!! Starring Pharrell and chick over the counter is not having it.




Geisha "Shit'n on you Hoe"- This tacky broad comes to us courtesy of Dade County, Miami which I guess is a real hood ass part of Miami cuz of the amount of songs I hear coming from there and plus Rick Ross shouts it out evry other song. This chick makes Trina look like fucking Tupac and that aint nan nada good.




Riskay "Smell yo Dick"- This is just....*sigh*...made for hoorats...made by hoorats thats all I gotta say. Btw none of the real videos would let me embed the vid on here so youre getting the sims version. They must know the shit is that WACK! lmao.




Someones mama shaking ass at spring break- I would never ever EVER! Claim my mama again if she did this bullshit!!



Halle Berry and Ellen doing the "Halle Berry"- I knew that song would get to her eventually find her.And I never pictured her dancing and having rhythm but she tried her best and thats what matters!!

Its Hard Out Here For A Pimp.....When he tryna get this money for the rent!

Hey yall Keia here and we all know we in a recession but I had to say to myself DAYUM!!!! when I see someones grandma and grandpa walk in the restaurant where im applying at asking for an app. Now they supposed to be at home baking cookies for the grandbabies not flippin burgers and sacking groceries!! Man Bush left us a steaming pile of shit! I say we all make a trip down to Preston Hollow in Dallas and give him a good ol G-stomp or 2. Hell it was so hard for me to find a job, i was thinking about doing the hoe stroll at my nearest corner. Lmao. Jk. But i know there was a few heffas out there desprate enough to be the newest Ladies of the Night. But anyways save yall moneys cuz one will never know when youll fall on hard times cuz i know if i didnt have the stash i had saved up man these past 4 months i had no job woulda been HELL!!!!!

<3<3<3 LaKeia

Its So Cold In the D!!!

Now ive been living in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area going on 4 years this may and its been quite the experience but theres one thing that I cannot stand....*drumroll please*......the MUSIC!!!! Now i dont know how many of yall live in the DFW area but it is the birthplace of such songs like Stanky Legg, Ricky Bobby, Halle Berry, Nature Walk, Not A Stain On Me, Check Out My Lean, My Dougie and the list goes on and on an on some more. Now i can only sit and listen to this bs for so long while other ppl sit back and request the hell out of it like its the best thing since free til 11 at the club. Oh and dont forget it aint a certified DFW joint unless it got some kind of dumbass dance to it. Who has time to learn all that shit anyway?! Mofos who aint got shit else to do thats who! I will simply shake my ass in the club thank you very much! I mean come on in the song Nature Walk this negro says somethin about Pootang Pie. WTF!?! And he tells us to Ric Flair with it. Now the only dude i know named Ric Flair is the old ass retired wrestler Ric Flair. So how in the fuck do you Ric Flair with it?! Now ill give the radio stations props for supporting the local artists and trust they support the hell out of em but ill take some smooth jazz, or some Coldplay (yes I said Coldplay dammit!), Jay-Z, Kanye West, or Sade anyday.

<3<3<3<3 LaKeia

*Sigh* Here We Go...

Word is K-Fed a.k.a Kevin Federliine is coming out with a kids clothing line? C'mon now....SERIOUSLY!? Why does every celeb or has-been always try and resort to putting out a clothing line? Do we really wanna buy clothes for our kids from a guy who put out a song called effin "Popo Zao"? HA! I think not.

“You buy your kids a pair of True Religions then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I’m looking to do something much more reasonable,"says Federline.


Oh KevKev...we all know you have never paid $200 for anything in your life! Thats probably all he has in his savings.

I cant even fathom what the clothes would look like. Hobo/trailer chic with a smidge of rappers delight? I cant wait to this this shit!





B-T-Dub....Kevie baby....You are gettin a little porky. You need to get like who? MIKE JONES! WHOOOO!? MIKE JOOOOOONES!!!

Fat Aint Where Its At!

Is it me or are rappers getting bomb ass gym membership?!


Mike jones is looking mighty trim these days, isnt he? I mean,he's still REALLY ugly..but hey, at least he's not overweight AND ugly! Thats just too many problems to have! And Nore and Busta Rhymes had a little thin-spiration. The two are in a friendly lil compettition to see who can lose the most weight. Check it out on Youtube. Flab aint fab baby! I guess 2009 really IS the year for change, eh??

20 Questions

Hey yall Keia here and there's been some questions thats been bouncing back and forth in my head for awhile and id like to see if someone could give me some legit answers!!

1. Since Bush fucked me over and never sent me my stimulus check, President Obama will you one up him and send me mine?

2.Will someone please give Octo-mom (AKA Crazy chick with the 14 kids) a job,a house and some meds so we can quit hearing about her everyday?!

3.Speaking of which how pissed am i that the babies sperm donor is black and this negro had the nerve to drag his ass on Good Morning America?!

4.Are we gonna start seeing a trend of "im bout to go to jail" shows a la T.I's Road to Redemption and Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown? And if so when is Chris Brown's coming on?!

5.Instead of talking about how black women should stop putting perms on their hair, shouldnt David Banner focus on making himself relevant again?

6.Ive heard alot of good things about it and it recently won Best Picture at the oscars but who do you know has seen Slumdog Millionaire?

7. Don't you wish Aubrey O'Day would sit her ass down?!

8. With Danity Kane's recent breakup and Day 26's inevitable demise, when will Diddy get it through his head that he cant develop and keep artists to save his damn life?!

9. Where the hell did Kanye West get his new "girlfriend" from?! But i have to admit she is top model fierce though

10. Why is Tyson Beckford's baby mama ugly as fuck and looks like a pre-op tranny?!!?

11. Are ppl so crapped out on ideas for shows that E! is coming out with a reality show about video hoes of all ppl?!

12. After Shaq's performance at All-Star Weekeend with the Jabbawockeez dont you think after he retires from basketball, he should become a permanent member of the group?

13.Black History Month is almost over already aint that a bitch?!

14.How long do you think Lil Kim will last on Dancing With the Satrs?

15.Am i the only one who doesnt fall for the Robert Pattinson is fine hype?

16.Hasnt LeBron James gotten sexier and sexier?!

17.Arent you proud Taraji P. Henson went from Jody's baby mama in Baby Boy to Brad Pitt's mama in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and got an oscar nod?

18.How many of yall went to Ihop for free pancakes yesterday and stayed for 3 hours cuz they were unlimited??

19. Krispy Kreme is one of 15 companies that might not survive in 09 and if that is true then where all the fatties at to save it?!

20. Is Flo Rida's new song "Right Round", that good that its sold over a million downloads in 2 weeks despite him dropping off the face of the earth?

How To Lose A Guy in 5 Seconds

What is the easiest way to make a dude diappear out of your life in about,ehhh...5-10seconds??




Look like this bitch!!! Wtf?! Looks like she chews on glass for breakfast, steel for lunch, and fuckin plutonium for dinner..Get it Snagglez!



AHHHHHH!

Oh Boy, Oh Boy...

So today i was on my beloved facebook just minding my own business when i get one of those lil pop-up chat things...and when i look at the name,i nearly throw the fuck up....

It happens that my friends baby daddy sent me a chat asking why his name is always in my mouth...uh EXCUSE ME???? Possibly because he is a lame who is almost 30 years old and still on fb tryna start beef...through a chat. Really? REALLY?

First off, take care of the 3 other kids you have from 3 different women. Then imma need you to get yo old ass offa facebook and get a muthfuckin job! ugh!Why are you even on the computer?? Shouldnt you be at a job fair...

Im just sayin....you need a life. Get on your grown-man shit and get like this guy

Big Girls+Small Clothes=A HUGEASS NO NO!!!

Hello Hello for once this aint Cherie. Lol. Im LaKeia and I will be frequently adding my own posts and giving my commentary on Cherie's posts. Now for my rant of the day.....Now I have no problem with big ppl hell living in Texas you see em in your sleep. But what i do have a prob with is big women who wear small/tight clothes and think its cute. And their friends need a good bitch-slap...yes i said bitch-slap!!!....for letting them walk around embarrassing themselves. Now what led me to write this is two examples. First one...this past friday i went to Club Cirque for the first time and may i say it is the mecca of everything thats ghetto. But on to the point. So im dancing havin a good time enjoying my buzz when i look up and see a whale in a black leotard!!! I think to myself man i aint that tipsy!!! How drunk was this heffa (and i litterally mean a heffa) to think she could pull that shit off?!!? Her legs was lookin like them big ass dinosaur drumsticks Fred Flintstone used to eat. Sweetie Beyonce called she wants her Single Ladies outfit you done stretched out into a circus tent back! Example #2. Im walkin to my car from class today when i see this chick with a red polo type dress on and some wedges on. Now this girl was nowhere near the size of the club chick but it was still bad enough for me to talk about. Now first thing she couldnt even walk right in the shoes havin to take fuckin baby steps which irks me cuz if you cant walk right in a pair of shoes then ya ass shouldnt be wearin em! Plain and simple. And then the dress was so short i could see her cottage cheese thighs jiggling in the wind im like lawwwdddd help her! And if the wind woulda picked up a bit more i would seen some shit that my precious eyes were not ready for! Now im sure that both these ladies and the others who are guilty of atrocities like this could find much better options. And when they do finally realize the crimes they have committed and fix em, the world will be a much better place....

INEEDMONEYZ

Yo....$500?? i could use a lil bit of gas money.....

Frustrated

So this issue isnt new to anybody. Or perhaps it is....but either way, it is tap dancing on my nerves like no other.

I was sitting down talking to dude about girlfriends and all this other random shit that always comes up..and I asked him "Why dont you like black girls??"

Ahhhh yes...the whole issue of black men dropping us african american females altogether and chasing any other other race but...black. *hmph*

Now see, i have no problem with interracial dating. In fact, i have plenty o many a friends that have a taste for other flavors, ya dig?? But when a person singles out one whole race for no reason or has no reason as to why they wont date that race...that makes me wanna g-stomp some face. Seriously.

Dude proceeded to tell me that "naw. i love black girls..i just like females with HAIR."

HOLD UP.

Ok. Do black women not have hair? Cuz im pretty sure i see some everyday with this weird stuff growing from their scalp called HAIR. Or maybe thats just my imagination being silly again. Silly me!

Then he commences to tell me that black girls have "attitudes" and that we are too aggressive. WUHHHHTHAAAAFUUUCK

No bueno. I would have just preferred if he would have said "I just dont like em, Cherie"

I completely understand that men and women alike have their own preferences. But to put down your own women by saying something as ignorant as "I like girls with hair" is disgusting. Not all men have this view of black women but ive feel like ive heard it all. "too aggressive, too mouthy, too opinionated, too...black??" Really? I think that by excluding a race out of ur possible options you are restricting yourself from what could be your "good thing."

Brothas come back to the dark side!

Baldwin Hills

Why oh WHYYYYYYY does BET have this show??



I love BET, those are my people, but the show is extra pointless.



In the openeing credits, they're like, "We are the sons and daughters of actors, actresses, athletes...""....blah Blah BLAH.

SHUT THE EFF UP!

If any of their parents are celebs then why havent i seen any of em? whats their definition of a celebrity? they should change the credits to "Our parents were celebrities in 1969 but now they dont do shit so they try and relive their dreams through us on this wack ass excuse for a show." Get real. And if these mofos have one more damn "kick back"...lol. That is not all there is to do?! Do these kids go to school? I have yet to see one crack open a book?



The best thing that could have happened to this show is that sexy caramel brotha with the eyes that make me wanna....well...you know, hehehe. Oooooooh Justin. Leave those lame, random ass girls who appear on the show, and settle for a real woman who can read! Dude, I can READ!!!!

So thats my rant for now. BET needs to get it together. They used to be my favorite, but now Im saying "f it" and dedicating my life to those crazy white women on Lifetime. *sigh*

YO! WUTZ THE DEAL??

If i hear one more thing about the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation I swear I will lose it!

Okay yeah, Chris Brown beat her up. That is horrible because no man should ever put his hands on a women WHATSOEVER. I do not care how famous, how riich, how poor you are or what situation you are in. Its wrong and makes you less of a man.

BUT

The thing that gets me is there are so many other people going to the same thing. The only major difference is that CB and RiRi are celebs and they have cameras to capture it. On every radio station I hear about em. Even on fuckin Oprah...OPRAH!!! Wuhthafuuuuck!?

Give em their gd privacy and let em deal. I feel bad for Rihanna....but i feel even worse for her because she has to deal with it in the public eye.